Short Takes – September 2022

Well that’s a popular opinion (!).

Last month, a petition calling for cyclists to require testing, taxing and insurance closed after receiving a whopping 262 signatures over its 6 month tenure. I’m curious as to how many stupid petitions garnered more signatures over the years, and by how much.

Another reason to get a dashcam?

I have often considered purchasing a dash cam for the obvious safety net they can provide in the event of an accident. There are also comical moments caught on dashcams littering public platforms like YouTube and TikTok, such as motorcycle stunt failures, impatient/rulebreaking drivers getting instant karma, pedestrian crash scammers jumping on car bonnets etc. However I have witnessed one of the most bizarre things that was definitely dashcam worthy. A rider of a pavement spec mobility scooter (limited to 8mph, road specs are limited to 15 and need plates) wearing a motorcycle crash helmet. He was in the road at the time and probably has good reason for doing so, but not what you’d expect to see, is it? I also doubt without dashcam footage anyone would believe me.

Put your foot down, Truss Me!

Liz Truss is trying to appeal to motorists by suggesting abolishing the speed limit on national motorways. This is a dangerous and nonsensical decision that will only cause harm, and very few journeys will actually get quicker because of it. Like all previous plans to increase/abolish the speed limit, I hope this one ends up being binned immediately.
I should probably Congratulate Truss on winning the Tory Leadership contest, for finally bringing BoJo’s tenure as PM to a close. But judging from public opinion, fixing the devastation left behind and stabilising the nation’s economy is one task she will be unlikely to complete. At least we can all move on from the blond mop, and the Captain Clueless VS Rich Rish fight to replace him.

Somebody in marketing deserves a promotion

Employment website CV Library have sent out a new ad campaign very quickly following the announcement of the Tory Leadership vote, poking fun at Rishi Sunak for losing the contest. A light-hearted laugh that is well needed in the current climate, and I hope Rishi takes it in jest. Even if he doesn’t he will probably be wiping his tears with £50 notes until the sun explodes.

Pot, Kettle, Twat

According to Johnson, you could save up to £10 a year on your electricity bill by buying a Morphy Richards model at £33. Unless your current kettle is knackered and need to make the expense anyway, that works out at 3 and a half years to pay for itself, and that’s a bunch of plastic and metal going to end up in landfill. Considering some kettles barely make it past a 2 or 3 year warranty, is it really worth it when bills are potentially going to reach £6.5k on average… Did he start a new marketing job at Morphy Richards early?

Football tech fails… Again!

Goal Decision System manufacturers HawkEye have apologised to Huddersfield and the EFL after its goal-line technology failed during their 1-0 loss to Blackpool, denying them a certain equaliser. It’s not the first time HawkEye has failed, with Sheffield United denied a goal after Aston Villa keeper blocked cameras by hiding the ball amongst his body after falling behind the line. Outfield cameras were also obscured by other players. The world’s most popular sport is fast becoming a farce due to the incompetence of those using and implementing the technology; and its insistance to run its technology by its own inadequate rules, as opposed to taking lessons from other sports who have successfully integrated television officiating into their sports.

Always got your back, girls.

The stigma and taboo around menstruation, especially for teenage girls is stifling and harmful. Well done to Always for their latest ad campaign to fight against Period Shaming, and other forms of bullying. It’s not a dirty thing and attitudes need to change, from both sexes. Now if we could just ditch the “tampon tax” too, that would be great. I have no embarrassment walking into a supermarket or pharmacy to buy my wife’s sanitary products, but I am ashamed to be paying VAT on what is an essential item. It’s not champagne, for crying out loud!

Trying not to raise a baby Houdini…

And finally, a personal anecdote some may find funny. I was on my way to collect my wife from the train station after a weekend away, with my 4yo son in tow in his car seat in the rear of the car. We stop off to get petrol. My car’s rear windows are quite heavily tinted so it is very difficult to see inside. When I come back, and go to sit in the driver’s seat what should greet me? My son, who has figured out how to undo his car seat belt buckle, in the front passenger seat playing with the gear shifter. Please send help, or a toddler straightjacket.

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